When You Feel Helpless
There are moments when life presses in on you, and suddenly, you feel completely stuck—cornered in a situation where you don’t know what to do next, where to turn, or who to talk to. Your body freezes, your mind goes blank, and for a moment, it’s as if you’ve lost control. You know you should respond, but you don’t. Or maybe you do—but not in the way you wanted to. Maybe you walk away, flee entirely, just to escape. But then, once you’re out of the situation, your mind keeps replaying it. Your peace is gone. Your body is anxious. You lie awake at night, still stuck in something that has already passed.
What is this? Why does this happen?
This is your fight-or-flight response. It’s your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. The problem is, your mind doesn’t care whether the threat is real or perceived. It doesn’t stop to evaluate if you’re actually in danger—it just reacts. And sometimes, that reaction leaves you feeling powerless, frozen, unable to act in the way you wish you could.
I’ve experienced this firsthand. One day, I was going through my morning routine, and out of nowhere, this intense wave of guilt hit me. I pushed it aside and kept moving through my day, but the feeling lingered, growing stronger as the day went on. My muscles tensed. I got silent. And then, suddenly, it became too much—I had to remove myself from the situation. That should have been the end of it. But it wasn’t.
Once I was alone, the anxiety didn’t go away. If anything, it got worse. My mind kept replaying everything, and with each replay, I felt more hopeless, more stuck in this idea that nothing was ever going to change. It kept me up until 3:30 in the morning. My rational mind knew that I was an independent, capable adult. But the feelings I was experiencing? They weren’t the feelings of a strong, confident adult. They were the feelings of a helpless child.
Because that’s what was happening.
When we feel helpless, when we feel stuck, what’s actually happening is our mind is pulling us back into old memories—times in our lives when we truly were powerless. Maybe it was a situation from childhood where you wanted to change something, but you couldn’t. You were too young, too small, too dependent on others. That feeling of being trapped, unable to fix the situation, it left a mark. And now, all these years later, when something reminds your subconscious of that same helplessness, your mind reacts as if you’re still that child. It shuts down. It tells you that nothing will ever change. It convinces you that you have no control.
But that’s not true.
Because here’s the thing: you are not that child anymore.
You are an adult now. You have power. You have choices. You have the ability to remove yourself from situations—not out of fear, but out of strength. And most importantly, you have the ability to shift how you respond to these moments.
What to Do When You Feel Helpless
- Remind Yourself Who You Are
You are not powerless. You are not stuck. You are an adult with the ability to make decisions, to take action, and to create change in your life. Even if your mind is telling you otherwise, you can remind yourself of the truth: I am capable. I have choices. I am in control of how I respond. - Breathe from the Diaphragm
When your body tenses up and your mind starts to spiral, shift your focus to your breath. Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm, not shallow and fast from your chest. This signals to your nervous system that you are safe, helping to bring you back to the present moment. - Reframe the Situation
Your thoughts shape your experience. When your mind tells you that nothing will ever change, challenge that thought. Ask yourself, Is this really true? What if there’s another way to look at this? You have the power to shift your perspective and create a different outcome. - Take a Small, Empowering Action
Helplessness thrives on inaction. The more you sit in it, the stronger it feels. Break the cycle by taking one small step forward. It doesn’t have to be big—just something that reminds you that you are in control. Maybe it’s setting a boundary. Maybe it’s reaching out for support. Maybe it’s simply standing up and physically moving to a different space. Whatever it is, do something to disrupt the feeling of being stuck. - Find Support
If you find yourself trapped in anxiety, don’t stay there alone. Talk to someone. Whether it’s a friend, a life coach, or a therapist, having someone to help you process and move forward can make all the difference. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is one of the most effective tools for breaking free from these deep-rooted patterns, and it’s something I love helping others with.
You Have a Choice
At the end of the day, this is your life. You have a choice in how you respond. You have the ability to shift your perspective, to take control, to move forward. The feelings of helplessness may still come up from time to time—because you’re human. But the difference is, now you know the truth:
You are not stuck.
You are not powerless.
You are capable.
And you are going to be okay.
Keep moving forward. Keep trusting yourself. Things will get better.